01.24.09
How do I open up? (Distressed in Brainerd, MN)
When i was eight years old my parents divorced. I used to be willing to do anything and talk to anyone i didn’t know without being nervous. after the divorce I switched to many different schools and got really shy.
The thing that is my problem is that I’m shy around boys. I have to get to know them a lot to open up more and I think i might have ruined it for myself a couple of times. I don’t know how to joke around with them without thinking that they may feel weird about it so sometimes i don’t even say anything until one of my girl-friends is there and im just too reserved now. I don’t like it. I want my old self back.
How do I open up even more without feeling scared?
Distressed,
You’re already on the right track by knowing what you want to change about yourself and why you feel the way you do. Understanding yourself is a big step!
My parents also divorced when I was around that age. It messed me up for a looonng time. One good thing that I used to do all the time when I was switching schools so often was to hang out with people a lot like me. If you have more in common with someone then it is soooo much easier to talk to them. Usually when you feel comfortable around a group of people, that boosts your confidence a lot.
Here’s something else that might help you a bit. Think of someone you admire, like your mother or your favorite character in a movie or book. Pick someone confident and fun, since those are the characteristics you are hoping to gain. Try to emulate this person. That usually helps you become more like who you want to be - used to be - because it is kind of like acting instead of trying to change yourself. The more you do it though, the more natural it becomes!
Good luck with the guys. I hope my advice helps.
Hs&Ks,
Jaqi
