01.05.09
Posted in Self Image at 10:53 pm by jaqi
Hi Jaqi!
I hope you can help me. I think there’s something wrong with me. I’ve liked boys for a long time but they’ve never liked me back. All my friends have had multiple boyfriends and first kisses, but not me. I think it’s because I’m not pretty, thin, athletic, or talented like the other girls. All I can do is draw. So now I’m really shy around boys because they’re mean to me. I want to be more likable and stuff, but I can’t change who I am. Please help me!
Thanks,
Rach
Hi Rach,
If you feel like you aren’t pretty, thin, athletic, talented or likable, do something for yourself to help change your self-image. The way you feel about yourself has a major effect on how everyone around you sees you and feels about you! For example, if you’re concerned about your figure, start eating healthy and exercising. We can’t all look like runway models, but most anyone can improve their figure by exercising.
If you don’t feel pretty, remember that everyone looks different, no one is the same. There are different kinds of pretty believe it or not. Some people have great smiles or great hair or pretty eyes. Draw attention to the parts of you that you like (with flattering clothes and make-up) and draw attention away from what you don’t like. Ask your mom or older sister to teach you how to use make-up if you aren’t already using it, but remember that you’re drawing attention to your best feature not your whole face.
Feeling good about the way you look builds confidence and that’s good for your personality (just don’t build too much confidence). Remember to be yourself because that’s really important; never pretend to be something you’re not.
I used to feel almost the same about myself and what others thought of me; these ideas helped me out. I hope they can help you too!
Hs&Ks,
Jaqi
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Posted in Parents at 10:40 am by jaqi
Hey Jaqi.
Okay so I’ve been having lots of personal issues and my parents started digging around in my stuff and found out. so now I’m seeing shrinks and stuff. anyway, i know it’s only fair that they try to control me more, but they are out of control! I’m not aloud to hang out with my friends, i don’t have an ipod, phone / phone privileges, and i only have supervised internet access. They also take some of my stuff that they decide is “inappropriate” like certain clothes and my hair dye (black). ugh. i just want my stuff back. and another problem. the guy i like (he likes me too) they absolutely hate. they found out about him by spying on my facebook!! so now i don’t have facebook either and they hate Zach (the guy). i have absolutely no idea what to do because no one will listen to me!!
Hey Elizabeth,
So first advice about the parents. Without more info, I’m not sure why your parents are acting this way, but it sounds like they’re probably worried about you. Try being more truthful with them about what is going on in your life; that will probably help them to trust you more. When they trust you they probably won’t be so controlling. Also if you try to get along with your parents everything will be easier for all of you. Talk things out with them calmly and honestly and that will probably help a lot. My mom and I used to fight all the time and we worked it out through conversations, not fights, but everyday talking.
About the guy, you should probably talk to your parents about him. Figure why they hate him so much. Does he have anything to do with the personal problems you’re having? Or maybe they just think he does. Or they think he’s a bad influence? If you think they are wrong about Zach and you really like him, maybe they can get to know him.
Good luck and I hope everything works out for you. Email me again if you want to talk.
Hs&Ks,
Jaqi
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01.03.09
Posted in Friends at 7:53 pm by jaqi
dear jaqi,
i need friend advice! i met this girl 4 months ago and she is actually like my best friend and i want her to feel the same way about
me.. i get really jealous when i here about what her and her best friends do and i wish i could be included.. and i wish she would stop ditching me at work.. shes a really good person and i would never hurt her but i don’t want to feel this way anymore and sometimes i don’t even want to be her friend but i still love her and she always tells me that she loves me and that i mean a lot to her but im so confused!!
what should i do! please help me!!
Dear Emma,
Ok, so you want to be included more in your new friend’s life, right? Try asking her over to your house or hang out at the mall together. Do something with her that she enjoys. Talk it out if ya want. If everything works out then yaayyy, good for you. If it doesn’t, move on, make some more friends.
Everyone has more than one best friend so spend time with some more people (and understand when she does too).
I once had a friend who didn’t always include me in things she and her other friends did, so I invited her over to my house. We got to know each other better and we ended up as better friends.
I really hope everything works out for you.
Hs&Ks,
Jaqi
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