01.05.09
Posted in Parents at 10:40 am by jaqi
Hey Jaqi.
Okay so I’ve been having lots of personal issues and my parents started digging around in my stuff and found out. so now I’m seeing shrinks and stuff. anyway, i know it’s only fair that they try to control me more, but they are out of control! I’m not aloud to hang out with my friends, i don’t have an ipod, phone / phone privileges, and i only have supervised internet access. They also take some of my stuff that they decide is “inappropriate” like certain clothes and my hair dye (black). ugh. i just want my stuff back. and another problem. the guy i like (he likes me too) they absolutely hate. they found out about him by spying on my facebook!! so now i don’t have facebook either and they hate Zach (the guy). i have absolutely no idea what to do because no one will listen to me!!
Hey Elizabeth,
So first advice about the parents. Without more info, I’m not sure why your parents are acting this way, but it sounds like they’re probably worried about you. Try being more truthful with them about what is going on in your life; that will probably help them to trust you more. When they trust you they probably won’t be so controlling. Also if you try to get along with your parents everything will be easier for all of you. Talk things out with them calmly and honestly and that will probably help a lot. My mom and I used to fight all the time and we worked it out through conversations, not fights, but everyday talking.
About the guy, you should probably talk to your parents about him. Figure why they hate him so much. Does he have anything to do with the personal problems you’re having? Or maybe they just think he does. Or they think he’s a bad influence? If you think they are wrong about Zach and you really like him, maybe they can get to know him.
Good luck and I hope everything works out for you. Email me again if you want to talk.
Hs&Ks,
Jaqi
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01.03.09
Posted in Friends at 7:53 pm by jaqi
dear jaqi,
i need friend advice! i met this girl 4 months ago and she is actually like my best friend and i want her to feel the same way about
me.. i get really jealous when i here about what her and her best friends do and i wish i could be included.. and i wish she would stop ditching me at work.. shes a really good person and i would never hurt her but i don’t want to feel this way anymore and sometimes i don’t even want to be her friend but i still love her and she always tells me that she loves me and that i mean a lot to her but im so confused!!
what should i do! please help me!!
Dear Emma,
Ok, so you want to be included more in your new friend’s life, right? Try asking her over to your house or hang out at the mall together. Do something with her that she enjoys. Talk it out if ya want. If everything works out then yaayyy, good for you. If it doesn’t, move on, make some more friends.
Everyone has more than one best friend so spend time with some more people (and understand when she does too).
I once had a friend who didn’t always include me in things she and her other friends did, so I invited her over to my house. We got to know each other better and we ended up as better friends.
I really hope everything works out for you.
Hs&Ks,
Jaqi
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12.31.08
Posted in Dating, Sex at 12:06 am by jaqi
Dear jaqi,
This is my big issue!! I fell in love with a 21 year old and i knew i would do anything for him so we desited to go on and go for it (sex) and regreted it but he was there for me and said that if i didnt want to do it anymore then its fine and then he broke up with me like half a month after and now i just found out he has a 7 year old son!!! im really angry, can you help me out or like guide me or something please
oh and also like everyone knows in my art fabric thingy that i lost my virginity to him 
-i really need help, i feel used
Dear Spencer,
Being in love with someone older is tricky. Something I’ve discovered about dating is that it’s usually best to go out with someone you know or you get to know them first before even thinking about having any kind of relationship. If you try that then you’ll probably end up liking a guy who won’t just up and go or break up with you unexpectedly. You won’t end up feeling used. Also, try to stick with guys that are around your age. You will have more in common (and that will usually ensure they don’t have 7 year old kids too).
About the art fabric thingy. Just ignore them. It is NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS. Usually people leave you alone about things when they see you aren’t being affected by what they say.
Good luck,
Jaqi
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12.29.08
Posted in Dating, Sex at 11:56 pm by jaqi
I have two problems both about boys. There are two boys on my street that are 16 or 17 and I think they like me Im only 13 and I kind of like them what do I do. They both are way to old for me!
My friend also has a crush on this boy, but i think he likes me. He hugs me and talks to me all the time during class. He even stares at me! I really don’t know what to do! The worst part is I think I like him too.
Older guys that go for younger girls like you are usually just interested in sex. Be cautious around them. Don’t show that you like them. I had a friend once that had a neighbor who was 17 and she was 14. Let’s just say things didn’t turn out so well.
About this other guy from school, if you like him, show it, let him know. It’s up to the guy to choose who he likes. Give him the option.
Good luck,
Jaqi
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Posted in Dating, Parents, School at 12:31 am by jaqi
Dear Jaqi,
i am having lots of problems…
first my best friend used to date this boy named Brandon, and i met him at the teen center.. and sometimes he hugs me and talks to me most of the time.. and i am having a major crush on him..he knows that i like him and i think he likes me back, but he already has a current girlfriend, what should i do?? and my next problem, is that my little sister and my mom always gets me mad once in a while and i have bad grades and my cell phone’s bill is too high. and i think its because my anger for my mom and little sister. what should i do?
Liking a taken guy is always a sucky situation to be in. Try to just be friends with him. Its not fair to his girlfriend if you both keep it up.
About your other problems, try your best to get along with your family. Usually it helps your grades if your home life is less of a challenge. Then if you get better grades and quit with the high phone bills you and your mom should get along better. Getting along with your parents is pretty important. They’ve been through a lot and are usually good people to go to for help.
Me and my mom used to fight all the time. It affected my school life (and grades) a lot. I realized it was ridiculous that we fought over such small things that were usually misunderstandings. One day I decided that when I got angry, instead of yelling, I would talk calmly to my mom so she would understand my point of view. Because I did that, my mom understood me better and was also less angry. Now that we know how to talk to each other - even when we’re mad - we get along.
Good luck with school and I hope you and your family work everything out.
Jaqi
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12.28.08
Posted in Dating at 11:49 pm by jaqi
Hey im a 14 year old teenager and i’ve been talking 2 this
boy for almost 6 months now and i really do love him but it seems lik hes only happy that he has a girlfriend people have grabed me on my butt in front of him and he never does anything about it then sometimes he just ignors me the entire day.but hes really sweet and hes smart he says he loves me but sometimes i dont think that he does.What should i do?
I hate to say it, but it doesn’t sound like this guy is really in love with you. If he’s letting other people grab your butt and ignoring you then he probably doesn’t respect you that much. Dump him and look for a guy that respects you and cares about you.
I always make sure that the guy I’m going out with is a good guy who would never let anything happen to me. Its an important thing to look for.
I hope you find someone awesome. Every girl deserves to be treated with respect!
Jaqi
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Posted in Dating at 11:09 pm by jaqi
Hi Jaqi,
About 2 months ago, my boyfriend of 8 months moved away to a different country because his parents moved. I knew that he was going to move a while back but i just assumed we wouldnt make it that far in the beginning so i would be avoiding a painful breakup. Instead I fell hard and strong for him. When he left it broke me apart, its been 2 months and i still cry myself to sleep. In the first month we talked on the phone and emailed because we both missed eachother. Now he got a few friends, and hes doing better, so he decided we shouldn’t talk. I still love him so much, and i just needed outside advice, on if this could work somehow, if i should contact him, if i should do anything. I dont want to contact him and him hate me for doing it because i keep pulling him back, but if this could workout somehow i want to. i love him very much and i need to kno if i could do anything to have him back.
Dear ConfusedNhopeless,
When your boyfriend moves it really does feel like your world is falling apart. The sad thing is that long-distance relationships usually don’t work out for us teenagers. It sucks that you haven’t been talking to each other lately, if you guys really care about each other then it shouldn’t hurt to talk every now and then. Try to be friends with each other, and who knows, one day you both might live near each other again. (after you graduate) If you’re both single by then then maybe you could continue the relationship.
Go ahead and talk to him. Ask him what he thinks about staying in touch and being friends.
I hope everything works out for you,
Jaqi
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Posted in Dating at 11:01 pm by jaqi
Dear Jaqi,
My name is gabby and i am shy when it comes to talking to the boys i like. Okay it’s these two boys at my church and they both are very cute. Ones name is R and the other one is D. D likes to be in his own little world but then he stares at me sometimes. R always stares at me whether im looking or not but sometimes it seem like he has an attitude also every time i leave from church R is always by the door. Now that i’ve gave you some background information i wanna know who do you think i should like and what should i do. Im am in desprate need so please respond back.
Thanks,
Gabby
Gabby,
I’ve been through situations like yours many times. It depends on who you have more in common with. You’ve said that both guys are attractive, so now check out their personalities. If you have more in common with a guy it is easier to talk to them.
I’ve had to choose between guys before and it’s usually not very easy. Think about which one you’ll be more comfortable talking to, hanging out with, etc.
Good luck,
Jaqi
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12.18.08
Posted in Sex at 7:34 am by jaqi
Hey. I’m 15 years old. I’ve been dating my girl for about a year and 2 months. I really really really like her and care about her. Of course i have urges and Id like to have sex with her but I really want to wait until she says she’s ready and means it. However she did say she’s willing to do it if I really really want to, which I do but honestly isn’t that like taking advantage of her? I don’t want to force her or anything. I just want to have a special first time with her.
Jay
Brooklyn, NY
I think it’s very cool that you’re willing to wait till she’s ready. That’s something that a lot of girls wish their own boyfriends could do.
Now for your advice, if you decided to have sex with her just because she said she was willing to, it is kinda taking advantage of her. Waiting until both of you are completely ready for it is the best thing to do. Honestly, if you’re both really ready then it will be special, so just wait, and be patient.
Jaqi
PS When you’re really both ready you should use protection obviously, condoms and birth control pills.
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12.14.08
Posted in Dating at 6:57 pm by jaqi
my friends all have boyfriends but i dont. i want one but i cant find any guys at my school that i like!!! wat should i do?
ashley
lodi, ca
I’ve had this problem multiple times. If you can’t find any guys at your school that you like, then maybe you could try looking somewhere else. Try volunteering for something, or if you go to church, then you might meet a guy there. The good thing about looking for guys in these kinds of places is that you’ll both have something in common, something to talk about. Try to remember that school is not the only place to find a good boyfriend.
Good luck,
Jaqi
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