Advice for Teenagers from a Teen’s Perspective
Jaqi won’t be accepting any new requests for advice through the website in the near future. Being a typical American teenager, she has a lot going on in her life and, right now, she needs a break from the advice column.
Don’t worry… if you’ve sent in a question to Jaqi that hasn’t been answered yet, it will be. Stay tuned. (She’s just not taking new questions for now.)
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dear jaqi,
i have a problem. you see there’s this guy at school that i like, his name is justin and he’s really cute and nice. but im too shy to talk to him. i tried messaging him online, but he doesn’t talk to people he doesn’t know. i get really nervous whenever he’s around, and the worse thing is, he’s friends with one of my old friends. it’s just a complicated situation. how do i get the courage to talk to him?
Dear Leah,
Sometimes it can be difficult to talk to guys. I can relate to that. It’s always harder to talk to the ones you really like because your worried you’ll say something stupid and that they won’t like you. The truth is that it’s best to just be yourself around boys because the only ones who are really worth liking are the ones that like the real you and don’t care if you say something strange because they like you for who you are. It’s very true that it’s hard to find guys like this, but it’s sooo worth it in the end. Trust me.
Try your best at talking to him. Just say hi and tell him who you are. If you work up some confidence to talk to him and get to know him a little, then maybe you could try talking to him online again.
I don’t quite understand how the old friend fits in to the situation completely, but it seems like this is discouraging you a little. Try to catch your guy when this old friend of yours isn’t with him.
Just remember to be yourself. Good luck with everything.
Hs&Ks,
Jaqi
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I have a crush on this cute guy at my school (jc). the problem is thay my best friend had just started dating him. But, i don’t think that if he knew i liked him, he would have asked her out. He broke up with her a couple months ago and we have been talking a lot lately. i don’t want to hurt my friend but i don’t want to lose my chance with this boy. What should i do?
Try talking to your friend about it. Maybe you could tell her you’ve liked him for a long time and now that he’s single again you’d like to see if he likes you to0. Ask her how she feels about it and if she’s ok with the idea of you and him dating one day.
If your friend isn’t comfortable with the idea then don’t try to date him. Friends are far more important than boys at your age. Lots of people make the mistake of leaning towards the boys. A guy is usually temporary, good friends are forever.
Good luck.
Hs&Ks,
Jaqi
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ok there is a senior that i go to school with who is really awesome. he is great and i like him a lot. he seems to like me too. he moves close to me when we pass in the halls. he also touches me. he ‘accidently’ touches my arms, hands, shoulders and lower back. he stares at me all the time, too. i catch him staring at me during band and he only stops when i look at him. then he holds my gaze for a while. he looks at me again in a few minutes. does he like me or is it my wishful thinking???
I think it sounds like he likes you a little, or at least thinks you’re attractive, but are you sure you wanna get involved with a senior? Think about it for a little while. A girl your age has less in common with a guy that age and sometimes that causes a relationship to go bad.
Who knows though? It could work out great, just don’t let him pressure you into doing anything… it happens.
Hs&Ks,
Jaqi
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Dear Jaqi,
me and my boyfriend have been going out for three months now. I’m 15 and he is 18. I’m actually his first real relationship, his past relationships lasted about a week and as horrible as it sounds he just went out with them to "get what he wanted." For a while now he’s been thinking about joining the army, but finally today he decided to go and sign the papers. according to the guy, he will take a test and if he gets 50 points or higher he will be shipped to either north or south Carolina for a month of schooling then shipped somewhere else for basic training for 3 months.
I lost my virginity to this kid and i really don’t want to lose him. He wants to stay together while he’s away just like i do. do you think that’s a good or bad idea? What should I do? What are some ideas on how i should cope?
Dear Confused,
It’s probably best if you don’t try to stay together while he is away in the Army. He’ll be gone for awhile and you’re still just 15. You should probably be dating guys at your school instead of dating a guy who isn’t even around.
If you decide to split up, talk to him about it and explain why. Hopefully he’ll understand and you can stay friends. If you do, there is always a chance you may date again when he returns home.
That’s definitely a difficult situation to be in. I hope everything turns out well.
Hs&Ks,
Jaqi
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Dear Jaqi,
Okay, so there’s this boy K. He’s really nice and sweet, and he has asked me out for the last 2 months. I didn’t like him and I said no but on Jan. 12 he asked me out again and I said yes. before I said yes there’s this other boy B. he’s cute nice and has a great personality.
I like B but I’m going out with K. Everyday I’m starting to like B more and K less.
PLEASE HELP ME.!
asap.
-y<3
Dear Yesi,
If you don’t like your boyfriend then maybe you should break-up with him. Staying with someone you don’t even like never turns out ok. Break it to him gently because it sounds like he really likes you.
After you break-up with K wait a while before you go for B. It would probably hurt K more if he knew you were dumping him for another guy.
I just have to say, don’t expect B to automatically like you back. Accept the possibility that you could be single for a while. A few years ago I broke up with my boyfriend because I liked another guy. I lost a nice guy and a good guy friend. Think about it for a while before you decide to do it.
Hs&Ks,
Jaqi
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hey jaqi.
ok, im so confused….. i have liked this guy for like all of my middle school life. but this year i really got to know him. i found out he is a real jerk. but whenever i drift away he somehow reels me back in. i also kinda like his friend who is funny nice smart and way cute. but i barely know him. and then there is this other guy who doesnt go to my school he is a year older than me that i like. ive liked him like since the fifth grade and in the past i know he has liked me. i dont know who to pick the three year jerk, the perfect stranger or the blast from the past older guy.
sincerly
confused chica
dear confused chica!
One thing I’ve always felt strongly about is never dating jerks. They’re no fun, they don’t treat you right, and they don’t give you many happy memories.
What I’ve done in similar situations is get to know the guys. Usually once you know them better you can easily decide which one is the guy for you. If you get to know them and still can’t decide then try picking the one you have the most in common with. Usually when you date a guy you have more in common with it’s easier to get along with him and stuff.
I’m leaning towards this "blast from the past" guy, but like I said, try getting to know the nicer two and hopefully you’ll get everything all sorted out.
Good luck.
Hs&Ks,
Jaqi
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hey how r u?….. I have this new bf but we dont really talk much. wen i c him i have to come up to him and say sumthing i havent broken up wit him bcuz i dont know if he is just shy or he wants to act lik he doent have a girlfriend. but i havent said n e thing eihter becuz im really shy. How do I talk to him about us?
That’s a difficult situation to be in. It’s confusing when you repeatedly have no success in trying to find out what a guy is thinking. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it’s difficult.
Maybe you should try asking him why he’s acting the way he is. He may be shy; it could be that he has trouble talking to girls. If it turns out he’s shy you could try telling him that you are too. It might make him feel better about talking to you.
Good luck with your boyfriend. 
Hs&Ks,
Jaqi
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Heyy,
I’m 14 going on 15 in August. I’m currently dating someone who is 18 going on 19 in April. I really don’t see anything wrong with it but I know its illegal and my mom thinks me and him are close friends. I constantly talk to him on the phone and everything, she doesn’t mind.
I was just wondering, is it really wrong to be with him since hes 4 years older? I mean I know his little sister and some of his family, we’re not having sex at all or anything.
Most teens date kids their age because they’ll have more in common with each other. There’s nothing wrong with dating an older guy, but you really should tell your mom about him if your gonna keep dating him. It really isn’t right to keep it from her.
One thing to think about is how much the age difference will effect the relationship. He’ll be going off to college soon and you’ll still be in high school. That’ll make it really difficult to keep dating. If you dated someone closer to your age, you would see them more often.
I hope everything works out.
Hs&Ks,
Jaqi
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me and my ex boyfriend have been on and off for two months. after every time we brokeup he said its really over. the last time we dated was our best time, we were so happy. he told me he loved me all the time, and we hungout a lot and talked on the phone. then he just broke up with me out of no where. i tried to talk to him but he says he hates me and were done for good. even his bestfriend tried talking to him for me. im in love with him and i dont know what to say or do. all i know is i neeeed him back. please please help me.
Briana,
Something you should always be sure of is that your boyfriend reeeeaaally cares about you. He shouldn’t call you names or hurt your feelings. If you have a boyfriend that does these things then he’s not worth it.
I hate to say this but if he’s saying he hates you then maybe you should try moving on. If he’s the type of guy to say something like that (no matter how mad he is) then you should probably just forget about him. Same thing with the random break up. If he didn’t bother to tell you why he broke up with you - or broke up with you for absolutely no reason - then, like I said before, try to move on.
I know it sounds hard, and sometimes it can be, but when you finally find the right guy, you’ll be happy you did.
Hs&Ks,
Jaqi
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