Advice for Teenagers from a Teen’s Perspective
Jaqi won’t be accepting any new requests for advice through the website in the near future. Being a typical American teenager, she has a lot going on in her life and, right now, she needs a break from the advice column.
Don’t worry… if you’ve sent in a question to Jaqi that hasn’t been answered yet, it will be. Stay tuned. (She’s just not taking new questions for now.)
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dear Jaqi,
i am in eighth grade and am about to start high school. i am super nervous going to high school and afraid that i won’t fit in and get good grades. it is all i think about now a days and it is ruining my life. what do i do?
Dear Emily,
It’s true that your freshman year is important. It’s a fresh start with your grades and it affects the rest of your high school years, BUT if you just stay clam, optimistic, and focused you’ll do fine. It’s not suddenly gonna be SOO difficult that you can’t keep up, don’t worry about that, but teachers definetly will treat you differently than you’re used to. They will treat you more like an adult (not like them, just more like them than before). There’s really not much to worry about grade-wise as long as you keep those grades up.
Now, about the whole fitting in thing. All the freshman are worried about the exact same thing. They’re all gonna be worried that they won’t find good friends or that they won’t fit in. Just be approachable and (same as the grades) optimistic. Try to stay happy and confident. (I think a good way to get the extra confidence boost is to wear your favorite outfit.)
If you sit next to someone who seems nice in class then try to have a small conversation. For example, “Hey, I’m Emily, I’m from ___ Junior High. How about you?” or you could just comment on the class you happen to be in.
Good luck with High School. 
Hs&Ks,
Jaqi
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dear jaqi, im about to explode!!!!
Im trying to focus on school and there are too many things in the way. If my friends would stop bugging me with their problems then i would do better in school. HELP AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!!
Dear Christine,
You should tell your friends that you can’t help them all the time. You could also try scheduling some time every day to turn off your phone and computer while you study and do your homework. Once they realize that you’re not their therapist, you’ll have more time for school work. Make sure they know that you care but you just can’t help them when you have other things that have to be done.
I hope everything works out for you.
Hs&Ks,
Jaqi
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hey jaqi,
my whole life is messing up. i had a fight at skool and ended up almost getting expelled. everybody teases me and calls me emo and now my boyfriend is joining in with the teasing. i have told him that it hurts my feelings but he says that everything is a joke and he will do it the next day. i feel scared to go to skool coz i knocked this chick out at skool and now she’s getting all her friends to beat me up the next time i see her. so i try to lay low at skool and run as fast as i can to classes. i need help i really want to punch her again but i know i’ll get in trouble again and maybe get expelled and i dont want to get expelled coz my friends are at my skool and i dont want to start again in another skool. please help me I NEED ADVICE!!!!
please help
luv peggy
Hey Peggy,
First, lets talk about the boyfriend. If he’s bugging you about it and won’t stop (even after you’ve talked to him about the fact that it hurts and annoys you!) then you might need to dump him. If he really doesn’t care about how he is making you feel, then he’s not good enough to be your boyfriend.
Second, if this girl is bothering you and threatening to beat you up then you really need to get help. I know it may sound lame but you should ask an adult for help. If you can’t feel safe at school, you can’t concentrate and get decent grades, which will affect your future.
Hs&Ks,
Jaqi
PS Don’t hit her again or get in any more fights; it’ll only make things worse.
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Dear Jaqi,
i am having lots of problems…
first my best friend used to date this boy named Brandon, and i met him at the teen center.. and sometimes he hugs me and talks to me most of the time.. and i am having a major crush on him..he knows that i like him and i think he likes me back, but he already has a current girlfriend, what should i do?? and my next problem, is that my little sister and my mom always gets me mad once in a while and i have bad grades and my cell phone’s bill is too high. and i think its because my anger for my mom and little sister. what should i do?
Liking a taken guy is always a sucky situation to be in. Try to just be friends with him. Its not fair to his girlfriend if you both keep it up.
About your other problems, try your best to get along with your family. Usually it helps your grades if your home life is less of a challenge. Then if you get better grades and quit with the high phone bills you and your mom should get along better. Getting along with your parents is pretty important. They’ve been through a lot and are usually good people to go to for help.
Me and my mom used to fight all the time. It affected my school life (and grades) a lot. I realized it was ridiculous that we fought over such small things that were usually misunderstandings. One day I decided that when I got angry, instead of yelling, I would talk calmly to my mom so she would understand my point of view. Because I did that, my mom understood me better and was also less angry. Now that we know how to talk to each other - even when we’re mad - we get along.
Good luck with school and I hope you and your family work everything out.
Jaqi
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Jaqi,
I have to start a new school soon and I’m really nervous about being “the new kid.” I don’t know what kids wear at the new school, how they act, or anything. I don’t want to make a bad impression my first day.
Oh, I will be in 10th grade ad I’ve never changed schools before.
Jessica in Chicago
What I’ve discovered from my many years of school changing is confidence is the key to a good first day. Make sure you’re not too threatening to your new classmates in any way, and it usually helps to be twice as nice as usual.
Something you should try to remember is that most people talk to the new girl as soon as they see she’s approachable. Just smile and try to have fun.
Also, about the clothes, wear something cute and flattering in colors that won’t stand out too much. Then you’ll look good, but you won’t have too many eyes on you all at once.
Good luck and have fun!
Jaqi
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