Advice for Teenagers from a Teen’s Perspective
Jaqi won’t be accepting any new requests for advice through the website in the near future. Being a typical American teenager, she has a lot going on in her life and, right now, she needs a break from the advice column.
Don’t worry… if you’ve sent in a question to Jaqi that hasn’t been answered yet, it will be. Stay tuned. (She’s just not taking new questions for now.)
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Dear jaqi,
This is my big issue!! I fell in love with a 21 year old and i knew i would do anything for him so we desited to go on and go for it (sex) and regreted it but he was there for me and said that if i didnt want to do it anymore then its fine and then he broke up with me like half a month after and now i just found out he has a 7 year old son!!! im really angry, can you help me out or like guide me or something please
oh and also like everyone knows in my art fabric thingy that i lost my virginity to him 
-i really need help, i feel used
Dear Spencer,
Being in love with someone older is tricky. Something I’ve discovered about dating is that it’s usually best to go out with someone you know or you get to know them first before even thinking about having any kind of relationship. If you try that then you’ll probably end up liking a guy who won’t just up and go or break up with you unexpectedly. You won’t end up feeling used. Also, try to stick with guys that are around your age. You will have more in common (and that will usually ensure they don’t have 7 year old kids too).
About the art fabric thingy. Just ignore them. It is NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS. Usually people leave you alone about things when they see you aren’t being affected by what they say.
Good luck,
Jaqi
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I have two problems both about boys. There are two boys on my street that are 16 or 17 and I think they like me Im only 13 and I kind of like them what do I do. They both are way to old for me!
My friend also has a crush on this boy, but i think he likes me. He hugs me and talks to me all the time during class. He even stares at me! I really don’t know what to do! The worst part is I think I like him too.
Older guys that go for younger girls like you are usually just interested in sex. Be cautious around them. Don’t show that you like them. I had a friend once that had a neighbor who was 17 and she was 14. Let’s just say things didn’t turn out so well.
About this other guy from school, if you like him, show it, let him know. It’s up to the guy to choose who he likes. Give him the option.
Good luck,
Jaqi
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Hey. I’m 15 years old. I’ve been dating my girl for about a year and 2 months. I really really really like her and care about her. Of course i have urges and Id like to have sex with her but I really want to wait until she says she’s ready and means it. However she did say she’s willing to do it if I really really want to, which I do but honestly isn’t that like taking advantage of her? I don’t want to force her or anything. I just want to have a special first time with her.
Jay
Brooklyn, NY
I think it’s very cool that you’re willing to wait till she’s ready. That’s something that a lot of girls wish their own boyfriends could do.
Now for your advice, if you decided to have sex with her just because she said she was willing to, it is kinda taking advantage of her. Waiting until both of you are completely ready for it is the best thing to do. Honestly, if you’re both really ready then it will be special, so just wait, and be patient.
Jaqi
PS When you’re really both ready you should use protection obviously, condoms and birth control pills.
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I am a 14 year old pregnant teenager, I haven’t told my parents yet. My boyfriend (my baby’s father) ran away……………. HELP ME!
Marien,
Topeka, KS
The first thing you should do is tell your parents that your pregnant. They’ll know what to do. They will be mad, but they will still love you and can help you. It’s best that you tell them so that you have a plan for when the baby comes. If I had to tell my parents I’d try my best to stay calm and explain to them my situation.
Also, when you start a relationship with a guy, you don’t want to skip straight to sex. It’s important to know that if a guy wants to rush into sex that might be all he wants. Those kinds of guys are usually the kind that run away from their pregnant girlfriend. I think the best way to test a guy is to tell him to wait a while. If he won’t wait, sex is all he wants; if he does wait but constantly bothers you about it, it’s all he wants; if he waits and respects your decision, then you’ve got a good guy.
Another thing… when you do find that right guy and decide to have sex… you need to use protection from now on. Not only does it keep you babyless but it keeps you STD-less which is a really good thing.
Good Luck with your parents and the baby,
Jaqi
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Jaqi,
I am 12 and my boyfriend is 15. He says that if I love him, I will have sex with him. I do love him, but I am not ready. What should I do?
Name Withheld
Dear Anon,
Hit him over the head with the nearest heavy object!! If a boy is trying to get you to have sex with him when you’re not ready and he won’t take no for an answer, dump him quick! If you don’t it will just get worse. Make sure you dump him in public (just a suggestion, some guys really don’t like the word no).
Jaqi
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